My week in 1 2 3’s

Since writing my last blog much has happened, I’m going to short list it all then go into more detail for those interested.

1. I had to go to hospital with Klaske Saturday morning for a guy she’s friends with from the street who got stabbed. Interesting and eye opening experience.

2. Went shopping and found a heap of bargins which I am not good at saying no too. So spent far too much money (well Rand wise) for my budget. Have decided that money is annoying!

3. Saturday night I went to a church formal (not the church I’ve been attending but one of the other volunteer’s church). Was interesting and a lot of fun.

4. Had a beautiful relaxing Sunday morning, talked to my family for ages and had a heap of dnm (deep and meaningful’s) with house mates.

5. Swapo has still been super busy with 70-80 kids in the afternoon’s which is a challenge. Haven’t painted the container yet due to weather and other situations.

6. Donated some clothing to school boys in the Ezinkethini primary school, so satisfying to see how excited they are to receive second hand shirt and shorts.

7. Found out another rape story that was really quite horrible (don’t read into lengthened version if you don’t want to know details, really is a horrible one, so you’ve been warned).

8. Got my hair cut yesterday, is heaps shorter than I expected but looks nice. For all the females interested, it’s still longish, but now not down to my belly button as it was but sitting short of in the middle of my back.

9. Bought a soccer ball for the kids at kindawo, something I should have done long ago especially when you see the massive grins on their faces when I gave it too them.

10. I have finally planned my holidays!!!! Well at least when I am going to take them. I am planning on going to Cape Town driving down the coast for a couple of days to get there so we can see the coast on the way. Possibly flying back to PMB or driving around through the middle of SA and around maybe through Lesotho! So excited. I am going with Brittan (the American volunteer from Thandinani) and maybe others. I am also going to hike in the Drakensburg (which is the really beautiful dramatic mountains that lead to Lesotho) for 1 or 2 nights with Mona and Brit. And hopefully we’ll make it to Mozambique in my last week here (as it’s school holidays and there isn’t much to do around here) for a week. It’s going to be so much fun and so tight on the budget I have (which I think I will blow) but I figure I’m here now, who knows when I’ll return, see as much as possible while I’m here. Help stimulate the economy as a tourist.

11. The YDC house was getting a little on edge for a while with food and cleaning issues but we had a big discussion the other night and smoothed everything out for a little while at least.

12. I have been more creative with my budget and I’m actually having more fun and feeling less guilty about spending money on certain things and giving money away which is nice, because I was really beating myself up there for a little while. Living where I do and living how I live from the culture I’m from and the way the world is here. The constant struggle between poverty and wealth, inequality and equality.

13. Tanguy (pronounced Tongie) from the Durban YDC has moved to the YDC here. There isn’t room in the house here as we are about to get a married couple next month who get their own room and then there are only 2 rooms filled with females. So he’s sleeping at the boys shelter next door and eating and generally living here. I feel sorry for him a bit, living with 6 females but he’s really nice, 18, straight out of school, from Belgium (speaks French) here for 9months and he shares some of my taste in music which is lovely!

So let me elaborate on the points that I would like too.

1. Wow this was a drama and a half. Woke up to Klaske talking on the phone sounding worried, she came into my room after she got off the phone and said ‘Nkosi’s been stabbed, he was crying and he wants me to go pick him up. I don’t know what to do.’ I was worried, it was 6.30am Saturday we didn’t know whether they drunk or what. So I decided to go with Klaske, we called an ambulance then drove to where they were staying on the street. Turned out that he had been stabbed but only in the hand, not the life threatening wound we assumed. We cancelled the ambulance and drove him to hospital as the wound was fairly deep and big and bleeding a lot. It was strange to have to be so careful about getting blood on you for HIV etc. even though Nkosi has been tested for HIV once and it was negative (apparently you have to have the test done twice to be more certain). Apparently he was stabbed by a guy who just came up and started pushing him then pulled out a knife and went to stab him in the heart but Nkosi grabbed the knife and either when the knife was pulled out of his hand he got cut or the knife was then stabbed into his hand. Apparently the guy who stabbed him thought that Nkosi and his friends still had a problem with him because he killed one of the guys they lived with on the street 2 years ago. He went to prison for a while but wasn’t convicted. We took him to Northdale hospital, a place I knew I didn’t want to see up close. The government hospitals here are disgusting because there isn’t enough money for them for how many people they are serving. It was fairly gross inside, cleaner though than stories I’d heard of feral animals fighting under patient’s beds. We eventually worked out where we needed to take him, we had to open a file so while his wounds were being dressed we stood in line for a file. While we were in line we noticed a guy on the ground surrounded by blankets, clearly unable to sit up or stand properly and struggling to do something. We saw it was his work clothes, Klaske went over to help him while I was in line. I was amazed to see doctors and hospital staff step nearly over him or around him not asking what was wrong or if they could help. He couldn’t speak English so Klaske got a lady to translate for her what he wanted and needed. I got called to the front of the line but knew none of Nkosi’s details so I swapped with Klaske. I helped the man struggle into his shirt then went to the main desk to make sure that he got help. He was then attended too by the lady at the desk who came out to see him. I pray that he got the medical attention he clearly needed. Nkosi eventually got stitches, we were first in and I was frustrated with how slow it was. So I can’t imagine what would happen for those who are 15th in the cue. We got too see Nkosi’s wound, it was deep and the skin had parted a lot so you could see the tissue under his skin. I found it fascinating, watching the stitches and wound, won’t go into to detail cos I don’t want to gross anyone out. Anyway that was my hospital drama, very unlike Grey’s Anatomy or House.

2. Money is a constant annoyance because it’s really hard to budget what is really necessary and not. For instance, airtime (or phone credit) now Sarah’s away I’m sending like 8 sms at a time, which is not that cheap. Opps.

4. Its really nice living in a house where really meaningful talks happen a lot. It’s nice to share what your struggling with housemate because chances are they are struggling with it too, or have wrestled with it already.

5. Swapo is going really well but I am really struggling with the amount of little children ranging from 2 – 13yrs old, having 1 intern who speaks Zulu and me in charge of all 60-80 of them. What do you do with so many kids that you can do with them all? It’s really hard. At the moment we have been singing and playing games because their attention spans are very short and this way you can keep most interested. I would love to do a craft with them but we have no space other than a dusty oval space across the road which makes craft hard. I don’t know, suggestions are welcome!

7. On Monday we were at Swapo, we being Klaske and I and a little girl of 2-3years with a swollen belly was playing with us in and around the centre. Zeh told us that this little girl was actually one they were trying to help a couple of months back because she has been getting raped by her father. I was so disgusted I wanted to throw up and cry all at once. This beautiful (even if she was a little dirty from the mud) little girl had been raped by her father and her situation probably won’t change for a long time until she is so abused, emotionally and physically that she’ll probably never fully recover. Apparently Zeh had tried to get the mother to report the case to the police but instead the mother begged for the father to come back. I don’t know what you do with something like that. How it is going to change? Those are my questions… seemingly going unanswered.

10. So excited about holidays!!! So hope it all works out as planned. It’s hard to not beat myself up about being selfish and wanting to travel and see this beautiful country when it does cost a lot of money and it could go to some of the places I’m working. However as I’ve discussed it with others, I don’t think it’s fair to only see this side of South Africa (the hard side) and not see all that it has too offer. Also it’s not like I’m only travelling, I will have a tight budget to stick too but still have set aside money for people in need and donations. I’m not sure if this is justifying my experiences but at least you now know that all of this hasn’t happened lightly or been not thought through very deliberately.

Well that is actually about it for me! I know it was a lot of writing so my apologies but if you’ve read any of my other blogs you’ll know I struggle to keep it short. I will hopefully be posting photos at the same time as this of the last month or two what I’ve been up to. I hope you enjoy seeing them. Oh, also I have decided to extend my stay here in South Africa. I am now leaving not on the 20th of November but on the 9th of December, so just for an extra 3 weeks that way fitting in a little more and making it closer to my original goal of being here 6months.

Missing you all. Xox

catching raindrops

Well once again I am late at blogging so my apologies however there isn’t much to report for this week so hopefully this will be a short blog. *Since finishing it… not so much… sorry, one of my problems, keeping things short. Also please note this was written on the 9^th September

 Sarah and I went away last week. We had a really lovely time, even if the weather didn’t co-operate. It rained / was windy dreary weather all week, meaning that we didn’t get to do the beach holiday we were planning. Actually we only made it to the beach on our last day in Widenham where we were staying.

We stayed with Sally (the YDC [youth development centre/ international volunteers]) co-ordinator who was kind enough to invite Sarah and I to stay with her and her family when they were on holidays. It was a small quaint town about 30minutes South of Durban only 5minutes walking distance to the beach (so very slack on our behalf to not make it down there till Friday). It was lovely staying with Sally and seeing her in a more family role as a mother to her two beautiful girls.

Sarah and I were intending to go diving however we found out that it was more deep sea diving and required a permit that neither of us had and therefore decided that it was going to be too expensive and too much of a hassle to bother with. I will hopefully go diving at some spot here in Africa on one of my future travels.

So instead of diving we decided to get a massage, which was very lovely and relaxing! For the rest of our holiday we puzzled (ie. Doing a beautiful 1500 piece puzzle of Southern Africa and it’s multiple people groups), visited nearly all the cafes in the closest town, skyped finally with friends, relaxed and read the bible together something I don’t do often enough but when I do I enjoy it so much, I often ask myself, why don’t I do this more often? Something we have been working on together, as in reading our bibles together more often.

 I actually applied for University and finished submitting various forms that were required. I have applied for an Arts Global degree at Monash Uni wanting to Major in International Development. The Global part of the degree referring to the fact that you have to study a semester overseas… yes I have caught the travel bug! My second, third etc preferences are for similar courses to study international development which I am super excited to hopefully start next year! It’s so exciting to finally have found something I’m passionate about and really want to study and learn about! To have some direction for my future wherever it’s leading me.

 I also found this cool wool shop with a million awesome buttons and have indulged once again in making button earrings. Another hobby of mine that Sarah has taken on. So we crochet, knit, I bake, make button earrings and cards. Feeling very crafty and old fashioned but I enjoy it. Crocheting especially is a good response to Africa time where you forever feel you are wasting time where as for the Zulu culture you aren’t wasting time because you are building relationships. So crocheting helps my western drive to feel like I’m doing something but doesn’t prohibit building relationships like reading a book would.

 On Friday we headed up to the Durban YDC. This was were I was originally meant to be and Thank God that I am not. It feels like a jail! They are on a highway under a bridge, there is a guard on duty all day and night and they can’t walk out of their courtyard. Driving in Durban isn’t fun either as the taxi are more crazy than here in Maritzburg, not to mention the big increase in traffic and confusing one way streets. The only advantage Durban YDC have is the internet which they have access to whenever they want… a little jealous especially because time difference to Australia means that I need to be at the internet café in the middle of the day when I’m at work or a night when it’s not safe to go out. But for that advantage I would so much prefer living here in PMB where I can go for walks in the morning, to the shop, internet café whenever I want during the day. So a really God’s guidance and blessing that I ended up here. I moved out of my room today and into the single room!! Yay, room to myself… the advantages of being here the longest!

Anyway I have gotten us all side tracked… YDC Durban, we stayed there for the weekend hanging out with the 3 volunteers there and Marieke and Jackie came up for the weekend too. We had a lovely weekend. Went to the beach, went swimming, shopping (more on that later), for a picnic and out to dinner at this fantastic modern South African restaurant. It was lovely just hanging and getting to know each other better, was really a lovely weekend.

 A new girl, well old girl technically (she was here in 2007) came on Wednesday so when we arrived home on Sunday night I met her for the first time. Her names Klaske from Holland, she is lovely and it’s really nice to have someone to chat too who’s experienced going home and balancing what you learn here and your experiences and meshing them with your life at home.

 That leads us to this week at Swapo as usual. Sarah and I were meant to teach our last English class on Monday as I can’t work at the school by myself. Turns out the teacher who was meant to be teaching the year 8’s or their replacement is back and therefore there is no longer a need for us. So that made us feel a little better about not being able to continue there. It was a little sad, because we really wanted to help there and because of exams and holidays we only got to teach for 3 Mondays. But it was a good experience and I think the kids were helped a little, if not in English than hopefully in the fact that some white ‘rich’ people are willing to spend time helping them out.

 The rest of the week was Kindawo; when it was a really hot day so I took the kids to McDonalds for an ice cream as a treat. I was a little annoyed with their lack of gratification, asking for the most expensive McFlurry’s and hamburgers when I had told them I was taking them to get an ice cream. Made me wonder whether that was just these kids being ungrateful for any special things (they never get McDonalds) or if that’s just children in general. So Mum and Dad I hope I didn’t do that and sorry if I did!

 Sarah and I took the day off Wednesday so I could help Sarah get ready for leaving on Saturday morning as our week was too full to have any time off elsewhere. It was nice to spend the morning doing random jobs and errands together. Marieke had a party that night for her 21^st which was a great success and a lot of fun.  

 Thursday was Sarah’s last day. It was a really lovely day that started off terribly for me. I was so tired and a couple of things in the house in the morning pushed my buttons harder than usual. So I wasn’t very happy in the morning but as the day wore on it became fabulous! Sarah and I Zulu worship songs with the older and younger kids which was lovely. We read a bible story to the younger ones and played some games. It’s lovely to see them so eager to hold your hand, but sometimes worrying when they get into fights over it! We handed out lollies at the end and that was fairly full on. If you can imagine 50 kids pushing and shoving with their hands up to you all yelling ‘Sweeties! Sweeties! I didn’t get one! (whilst they are clearly chewing the one you gave them)’ I felt swamped and in the end couldn’t even run away from them as they just mobbed around me as I tried to escape. I ended up throwing the lollies away, felt like I was throwing a stick for a dog to fetch, but it worked as it freed me up a little! In this time I also got a message from Blair telling me that we did get tickets to Big Day Out (a music festival)!!! So so so excited!!! One of my favourite bands will be playing and as it sold out in 10mins we were very worried we were going to miss out! But we didn’t so now I will be seeing Muse live! As well as many other artists that are high on my ipod rotation list! So happy about that!

 So this week has been a really really fantastic one! I have enjoyed nearly every part of it (apart from the breakdown I had yesterday morning). I have gotten to talk to Blair, Kyla, Emily and Jess on skype (a brilliant invention!) Will hopefully talk to mum and dad in the next hour. I have had a stack of amazing talks with people from the house on so many really important issues, something I’m really enjoying. Especially living in house where everyone is a Christian so even if there are disagreements we can come back to our similarities in Christ. I also have had a really positive working week and lots of fun.

 Sarah leaves tomorrow morning, and I will be so so sad to see her leave! We’ll never have a time like this again, but we are going to keep in close touch and she’s coming back to Maritzburg with her Boyfriend at the end of the month so it’s not goodbye goodbye for a little while. So I’m hanging out with her as much as possible today. We’re going out for dinner tonight which should be really nice.

 Tomorrow after I drop Sarah at the airport we (the PMB YDC) and the Durban YDC and Brit (another volunteer down the road) are going back to L’Abri to help do some work to fix up the place. It should be a good weekend. But it will be sad without Sarah too!

 So that’s me! God bless until I write again!

In Awe

Well it seems that the longer I am here the busier my life continually gets. So my apologies for not blogging before now but these last two weeks have been extremely busy but really positive.

 So I will try and do a really quick catch up for you all of general events.

 A quick disclaimer: if the below doesn’t make any sense / is terrible english could you please excuse it as my being sick when this was written.

3 Weekends ago (man I really have been lapse in blogging) I went on the 10km ladies race around PMB (Pietermaritzburg). Sarah, Marieke, Jacomijin and Lisa (lady from the main office) and I all went in it. We completed the run (cough cough / walked most of the way) in just under the time we were meant to; completing it in 1hr and 28mins. It was really fun to muck around and just do it for fun.

 The Sunday we went for lunch at Sally’s (the volunteer co-ordinator) house. I successfully made lemon meringue pie for dessert (which turns out to be extremely hard to make without an electric mixer, stupid egg whites) and we had a lovely afternoon at her house.

 That week I worked a little a Swapo where the children were busy practising some traditional dances for Heritage Day. I also worked at Site 11 with Sarah. It was lovely to work there for a day. Muma Nana who runs the centre is very organised and the day was really full which was lovely to feel like you are actually working for an entire day. I also changed my day for working at Kindawo from a Thursday to a Tuesday as Jackie and Marieke are going to work there on Thursdays. It always a pleasure to work there even if it does try my patience with the children’s homework most of the time.

 Wednesday Sarah picked up the new girls, Mona and Isabella. So there are now 7 people living in the house. 6 women and 1 male. The girls moved into our room (as it is the biggest) so there are now 3 other members sleeping in my room, which can make for frustrating nights where you wake up every time someone gets up / goes to bed. Mornings are the most frustrating especially if you can sleep in because you won’t. But the new girls are lovely and have actually had a really positive impact on the house in terms of dynamics. I feel we are all a little less clicky which is good. Mona and Isabella are both 19 and finished school last year and are both from Germany.

 That weekend Sally had organised for all of the YDC volunteers to go to YFC’s campsite for the weekend. Joe didn’t come due to basket ball commitments however the YDC from Durban (where I was originally going to be) came along as well. So we were a party of 8 females and we had a ball! The campsite L’Abri is so so beautiful, set in a fairly damp forest with a river and waterfalls all around. I took nearly 700 photos that weekend which will be upload on my photo blog soon so you can understand just how beautiful it was. We did activities on the camp, in which we felt like little children especially when we were asked to talk about what it meant afterwards and how we could apply that to our lives. But it was fun especially when we just started mucking around something cronic. We went for a walk to a waterfall which took us like 5 hours (but only because our guide wanted to stop talk and reflect far too much) but was so beautiful. From climbing up an entombing forest path to open grass plains on top of the mountain. We went on a swing out over an embankment that overlooked the valley which was beautiful. We also went on a swing that was over a waterfall and some of us dared to jump into the freezing cold water, which when you rise from the water makes you sound like the biggest idiot spluttering and saying ‘Oh it’s cold’, ‘man’ ‘oh’ ‘freezing’ etc. The landscape was so dynamic and beautiful, the whole weekend I was in constant awe (fear and wonder) of what God has created. We brought a guitar with us and sang songs together around a fire on the first cold night and had amazing deep talks about God and life. It was an incredible weekend of real fellowship and bonding.

 This past week has been fantastic. Monday Sarah and I were at Swapo and arranged a Bible talk to give to the younger children. That day we had over 50 kids and we attempted to gather them into the church next to the centre sit them down and give a short 10 minute talk on an overview of who Jesus is in English and then translated into Zulu. We sang some Zulu songs and taught the kids an English one too. We were really busy that day by our own initiative and we were both so inspired and encouraged by what we achieved which may seem small but could have made a real difference.

 Tuesday I worked at Kindawo again after spending the morning seemingly wasted driving around town dropping people off with my co-ordinator.

 Wednesday again at Swapo, the children were practising for the Heritage Day celebration we were having with another centre on the Thursday. Heritage Day is a day in South Africa to celebrate the different cultures SA is made up of. It is so lovely to see all the kids get together singing traditional songs and helping one another with some traditional dances. We are really starting to build some good relationships with some of the children which is lovely.

 A girl volunteering for an organisation down the road called Thandinani from America called us. She is the only volunteer for them and is living by herself. We invited her to join us on Thursday for Heritage Day which she was excited about. 

 Thursday was a public holiday because of Heritage Day but we went to Haniville for the celebration. All of the YDC (excluding Joe) came as well as Brit (the American) and it was an amazing day of culture. I was so proud of our centre’s kids and their exceptional performances. There was a special guest there from the department of Arts and Culture for the area and he was very impressed with all the performances even giving out money as incentives for the children to continue dancing and doing dramas. The children were in traditional clothing as well. Traditional clothing being brightly beaded skirts for the females with necklaces and no top; for the males its animal skin skirt (I think, not as many males dressed up as females). I will hopefully post some photos on my blog but there is a photo policy here that I can’t put any photo’s of the children’s faces (which is completely understandable) so there probably won’t be many. I took far too many photos that day which I am yet to process, but the kids love having photos taken of them. I think I will print some of them and give them to the kids (a luxury many would not have).

After the celebrations were finished some of the girls asked us if we would play netball with them. We said that would be interesting due to the fact that apart from Sarah and I none of the girls even knew what netball was. We played anyway (most of us opting bare feet over thongs, which in hind sight due to the massive blisters most of us got might not have been such a good idea) and lost miserably but it was fun.

Friday morning was prayer meeting in which due to Heritage Day we prayed in all the languages represented in the room. English, Zulu, Xhosa, Sotho, German and Dutch. It was lovely to pray, even if I didn’t understand the prayers, in so many languages a really different experience for me. The YDC girls from Durban (Elke from Germany and Annet from Holland) have come up for the weekend as they can’t drive yet and they aren’t allowed to walk anywhere from where they are staying due to safety. We (all the YDC and Brit came along as well) went out to dinner at this lovely restaurant which on first glance looked super expensive but was exceptionally priced, it was nice to go out and feel a little bit like I was home.

Saturday we had another Heritage Day celebration this time at Site 11. Sarah was supposed to drive us however she came down with the flu and had really bad blisters so I finally sat my ‘driving test’ around some roads that week to prove I could drive and I drove everyone around to the celebration. Brit came along to this celebration too and the YDC girls from Durban. This one was lovely but a lot more talking. I still can’t understand Zulu (which is a very complex language with far too many clicks) and had no one to interpret too me so it was a little boring but apparently the message given was fantastic. We had some traditional food afterwards, I ate some of it. There was mealie meal (which is ground corn) with sugar beans and herbs, chicken, and inside and outside meat (ie. Cow tongue and intestine and stomach – which I did not try). That night I went out with Brit, (who is here in SA for a year on a placement supported by her Uni Harvard!) who’s 22 and lovely, to her boss’s house for a braai and to watch Slumdog Millionaire outside on his lawn where he set up a screen. It was a fantastic evening with so many people from different NGO’s here in Pietermaritzburg, lots of interesting conversations about and surrounding the NGO sector here.

When we got home later that night though I started getting really sick and felt quite ill. Turns out that I caught some bug or got food poisoning so today I have proceeded to do nothing other than try and catch up on sleep I lost last night and get better. I am feeling quite alright now and hoping it was just a 24 hr thing.

Tomorrow Sarah and I leave to go on holidays together for a week. It’s her second last week here in PMB much to my sadness but it will be really nice to get away just the 2 of us for a holiday. We’re going to Durban (Mozambique turned out to be too much hassle) and staying with Sally and her family where they are on a holiday (which was so so lovely of her to offer to us). We are hoping to go diving in the sea if it’s not too expensive.

So that’s my events for the last 3 weeks. I am hoping I will be completely better before tomorrow so that we can start both being well again.

I’ve been super encouraged over the last couple of weeks in what I am doing here. I really feel like I am finally getting somewhere at the centre and have been really affirmed in being here. I get frustrated sometimes with how normal everything is becoming, the houses in the informal settlements has stopped shocking me, the dirty clothing that’s ripped has stopped making me sad, the people sleeping on the streets that I sometimes don’t even see. I was really challenged today by some of this, reminded in a conversation about things I was struggling with that seemed to have just halted in my reaction to them. It goes to show I think that we can’t expect our lives to change just due to situation; we have to constantly work at them. Something that should constantly be our challenge to live our lives more reflective of God’s coming Kingdom. That has been my challenge over the last couple of days and something that I am struggling with currently. What is my reaction to where I am working, how can I live a simpler life and be content with that in such a consumerist culture? Can I justify all the money I spend on travel and my want of experiences when that money could help people I know to live better lives? It’s the constant struggle of the knowledge of the poor and the culture and society of the rich in which we live.

Agh the struggles of life, fun hey!

Hope you are really well. Would love to hear some news, anything small, big, funny, ridiculous, made up for entertainment. All is appreciated!

Love to you all.

Xox

 

 

* Blair – I finally bought the new Arctic Monkeys CD. It was finally at the cd shop after a month of asking every week if it was there yet. He first told me that they’d sold out, I nearly screamed, after telling him that was extremely frustrating he said to hold on a sec while he double checked out the back. There was a copy out there which made me very happy. It is quite lovely. I also go the new muse CD which is good, and I think will take a couple of listenings too to make me love it but it is quite brilliant as anyone could expect.

Like a Sieve*

Ok just because I feel like it let me give you a list of 10 things that give me great and simple pleasure and 10 things I dislike.

10 Pleasures

1. The smell of freshly brewed coffee (especially in the morning)

2. Eating Banana Bread straight from the oven, yum

3. Relaxing Saturday mornings listening to music

4. Meeting friends for drinks (something I have missed extremely)

5. Getting hugs (something I’ve missed Taminka for!)

6. Wearing something you have made

7. Reading a book in Bed

8. Knowing a child has finally understood what you are trying to explain again and again for their homework

9. Going for a walk with friends

10. Finding a photo that you’ve taken that turned out really well

 

10 Dislikes

1. Meeting someone and getting along really well but knowing they have to leave and therefore the friendship you know would have developed can’t!!

2. Knocking over the bin over a floor you’ve just swept and seeing the dust go everywhere (as I have just done)

3. Crumbs left on the benches that attract ants and knowing they weren’t ones you left, again

4. Running out of wool when your 3 rows from finishing a beret

5. Feeling like you’ve wasted an entire day doing nothing

6. Cold showers

7. Getting so annoyed at others stealing your stuff (food) when you should really be sharing anyway

8. Backpackers not returning your email enquiries

9. Missing out on things back home (although I know that isn’t fair)

10. The dust marks our washing machine leaves on any dark clothes

 

Well now for this last week.

 Nothing to exciting to report, I haven’t actually done all that much this week.

 Last weekend was pretty relaxed, I actually can not remember what we did at all… no actually I lie. I went to Kindawo on Saturday because I wasn’t there during the week, it was nice to just play with the children instead of focusing on homework.

 Monday and Tuesday we stayed in the office all day helping with the strategy for the next 3 years. It is quite an exciting time for YFC at the moment as all the projects are writing their strategy’s and therefore hopefully reviewing what they are doing right and wrong and what they can do better. It is also a really difficult time at the moment because there isn’t much funding due the global financial crisis. It’s interesting that it seems that giving money to charities seems to be one of the first things to go when businesses are struggling when in reality that is where more money should be going to because there will be more people those organisations will be needing to help.

 Wednesday I finally went to a chiropractor! YAY, it was something that my body was telling me was long overdue the headaches finally pushing me to ask some people if they knew of any. Sally gave me the number of her chiropractor and she was lovely and did a great job. So glad I went. This however made me take a day off work, so I went to the main office to help celebrate one of the staff’s 50^th Birthday. There were cakes galore (enough that I didn’t eat lunch).

 Sarah and I are thinking of going to Mozambique so I sent off a lot of enquiries to different backpackers which I haven’t heard back from annoyingly. It’s turning out to be quite difficult as public transport there is not very good and very time consuming because of the state of disrepair the roads in Mozambique are. There are beautiful beaches and snorkelling and diving but it’s looking a little too much hassle at the moment. We’ll see.

 Thursday I also had the morning off, in which I did pretty much nothing because there wasn’t really anything I could do. That was frustrating but in the afternoon I went to Kindawo with Marieke and Jacomijn. They are probably going to help out on a Thursday from now on which is exciting but means I need to change my days when I go there.

 Friday we started with the prayer meeting which is always good although interesting due to the fact that it is usually in Zulu. That afternoon though, I went to a workshop at site 11. It was really good, I didn’t understand a word of it but it was a great success. We got way more people than we were expecting and their reactions were really positive. It was on Alcoholism which is a big problem amongst many parents, spending their children’s school grants on alcohol. Nearly all the people at the workshop are now going to get counselling about alcoholism! Praise God! One small step in a better direction for those families and ultimately the community.

 Friday night Sarah and I went out for drinks with Vicky, a lovely English young lady who we made friends with at a Women’s Convention. She has also been volunteering but at an orphanage called lily of the valley, which originally started up as a place where HIV + kids could die in a good environment. However since starting the kids have been living longer and longer and so now it does all sorts of amazing programs and activities with the kids. It sounds really amazing and Sarah and I want to visit before Sarah leaves (4 weeks time, sadness!). We had a lovely evening chatting but it was sad to say goodbye because we got on so well and I’m sure given the chance it could have been a really nice friendship there. But praise God for facebook, where we’ll still be able to keep in touch.

 That brings us to today.

So all in all a not very interesting week, but have had plenty of time for awesome conversations, thinking time (something I tend to do too much of), and general building relationships with people time.

 Oh an interesting thing to note just about general life. Living with more people is turning out to be very interesting. I am really getting a taste of community living here, especially with 4 women with different views on how things should be done. It is hard sometimes to not get frustrated at small things like people leaving all their dishes, leaving food out etc, which you then feel like your mothering them by cleaning up after them. But most of the time it’s just me getting frustrated over nothing, and having to remind myself that it really isn’t worth getting worked up over. But I love the people I’m living with its just taking some getting used to.

 Oh another interesting thing, tomorrow I am entered in a 10km race around Pietermaritzburg with Lisa (a lovely YFC staff), Sarah, Marieke and Jacomijn. We ticked the run box for some reason and now have to complete it in 1hr and a half or something so hopefully I won’t die. We won’t be disqualified if we don’t complete it in that time though so I’m not too worried. But I certainly won’t be running the whole way it’ll be more walk then run a short distance then walk again. So hopefully that goes well.

 So enough from me. I hope you are all spectacular and have a lovely weekend.

Love muchly. Xox

  

 *Title refers to the fact that I am beginning to learn that I need to sieve thing in my life. Like what I get frustrated by, what I am going to let mould me, what I am going to value and the flour in that cake I made the other day.

Black Holes and Revelations*

Well from my last blog things have been on the rebuild. I apologise for not blogging sooner, however I have been super busy and haven’t had a chance to sit down and write until now.

First let me say that last weekend I missed a very important lady’s 21st! I was so sad to miss one of my closest friends 21st Birthday and so wish I could have been there for her to help celebrate what an amazing person she is! Sorry Emily! I was there in Spirit!

 Let me start from 2 weekends ago. So after helping those beautiful little children from their horrible situation Sarah and I did a little bit of relaxing that weekend. We went to the Braai (BBQ) (not Bra as I found out) which was a stack of fun and lovely to eat some steak. It was really nice to just hang out with young adults my own age as a group, it’s something I’ve really been missing doing!

 That next Monday we started our English classes. We went into the school oh so prepared, some notes jotted down on our note pad, and received the curriculum after arriving at the school with 15minutes before we were to teach… so let’s just say it was an interesting experience. Sarah and I with our experience in teaching (both nil unless it can be genetic then I may have some) went into the first class with much confidence. Being the only white people in a school and having Australian accents is quite a novelty for most of the kids, they quite like us (well if you can judge from how much they mimic us anyway) which is a positive.

 The first class we taught had only 15 students as half leave for zulu, so we got eased into it, the second and third classes being around 40 something students! We just taught some simple English things to do with grammar and spelling which is apparently where they are struggling. We thought we did ok, and after asking one of the students at the drop in centre later that day we were given feedback that half the class probably didn’t understand us and that we went much to fast.

 We taught again Monday earlier this week. We decided to just focus on commas and split the larger classes in half between Sarah and me so we could hopefully assess who was and wasn’t understanding. We got a better understanding of where they were at and felt in the last class especially that we were actually making a difference which is so uplifting and encouraging. It gives you such a buzz when you can see the concept of something actually being understood in someone’s head.

 So teaching on the whole without going into more detail than most people will want to know, is going as well as one could expect. But it’s nice to feel that we are actually doing something even if it isn’t amazing and we aren’t qualified teaches, it is better than the no teacher that they were having, well I’d like to think so anyway.

 Work other than that has been really good. At Swapo we have continued to get more children coming to the centre. We attempted a craft with the younger ones the other day which was a little difficult with 50 or so children with paper and only 24 pencils… I think we might need to buy some more before we try another craft. I feel that the centre is getting more motivated, ever so slowly, but I am encouraged by what’s happening there more, and attempting to look at those positives instead of getting frustrated with South African timing and culture.

 Kindawo has been great! I love it there. Helping the kids with there homework requires a lot of patience at the best of times but it’s nice to see them understanding and growing. Unfortunately they’ve all been sick this last week, some suspected  with the dreaded swine flu, so I didn’t go last week but will go tomorrow to visit the kids.

 The house has acquired two new house mates, Jacomijn aged 21, and Marieke aged 20 (pronounced Yacomain and Mareeka) both from Holland. They are lovely and we are getting along really well. It is interesting getting used to living with new people though and there are frustrations that come along with that. I think more so I have just been getting frustrated with the house and being constantly around the same people all day long. But that is to be expected.

 The four of us along with an YFC staff named Lisa who is lovely have all entered a 10km race here in Maritzburg which will happen next Sunday. I am looking forward to it and dreading it all at once. We have been meaning to train for a least a week or two now to no effect as something always happens the day we organise something. However we will be going for a long walk / run tomorrow. 

 Today I came back from a camp that Sarah and I attended / worked at from Wednesday to Friday. It was awesome! We both had a ball, felt more like a holiday than work as we thoroughly enjoyed whatever we were doing (which was more observing than working). It is this beautiful campsite down a dirt road in a canyon situated next a rather large river; which we got to swim in, jump into from cliff, and flying fox into. It was an amazing site! And the owners also own a bed and breakfast which is situated over the river in the middle of the bush, with wild game wondering around on the verandas and cooking areas. So beautiful and peaceful and awe inspiring! The mountains surrounding the huts and cottages, Impalas galloping around, the river running below… so amazing! So wanted to hire one of the huts and do some hiking in the mountains… will definitely look into it as a possibility for one of my weekends here!

 The school that was on camp was the Year 11’s of a very good and rich private school / boarding school. It was so different from any school I have ever had anything to do with. The girls were taking about Prefects (head girls) and Boarding and leadership and School Spirit, and wearing your uniforms proudly and remember to wear your hat at the mall… all apparently very important things. The girls were so lovely however and I think they really enjoyed having some younger ‘staff’ around to talk to and relate too.

One of the evenings we got the girls to mould out of clay something of how they see themselves relating to the past, present and future. Sarah and I ran the small group discussion afterwards and it was so interesting to hear how similar the difficulties they were struggling with were so related and similar across the group, yet they were so scared to share…

Something one of the girls really stuck with me though. She said that is was so hard to look into herself and actually just sit with that for 45 minutes. Then half the girls including this one said how in the future they wanted to ‘find themselves’. It struck me thinking about these two thing that how often do people of this age group, my age group go off to ‘find themselves’, they go looking overseas, in alcohol, in drugs, in study, in relationships, in processions and places. And yet how often do we actually look at ourselves to find the answer to the question who am I? Are we scared of what we’ll find, of what we actually think about ourselves? Is that why one of the girls said it was so hard to sit with ‘her-self’ for 45minutes? I think it might be. Are some of us so insecure within ourselves that we can’t actually accept compliments non superficially, can’t see the positives within ourselves? So we try and drown out all the negatives with the above, ‘finding ourselves’ instead of actually doing some deep soul searching within us.

Is this a fair comment coming from me, who could be trying to find myself overseas? I’m not sure, but it is something I’m clearly thinking on.

I personally think that it is only when we come to terms with the limitations of our humanity, our broken selves that we can begin to move on and understand how amazing God’s love and grace is that he loves and accepts us in our humanity and in Him understand who we truly are. 

 Anyway enough thoughts, Camp was awesome and this coming weekend is going to be a busy but relaxing one with hopefully a little less sunburn than this week… opps.

Spring here seems to be more like winter turned into summer, but no complaints here!

 Missing you all, please send some news of home wherever you are and whatever you are doing I’d love to hear back.

 Xox

 *Title refers to song lyric by Muse, Black hole referring more literally in my life to the massive hole my handbag has annoying developed and grown and revelations is self explanatory once you’ve read the blog.

The hand of a child

So this week started really well. (Please note this blog contains some pretty graphic info that young children might not want to hear or read).

 The weekend was lovely and relaxing, we did practically nothing. Watched a couple of movies, went to the internet café, church, did the food shopping after going out for breakfast and that was about it. It was really nice to just relax and re-energise.

Monday, Sarah and I worked at Swapo. We had a meeting with the school we want to teach English at and that went really well. We’ll start next week some time. We are going to be teaching the year 8’s. I think we may be taking over a couple of classes from the teachers, not sure how they feel about that but I hope they understand that we are not trying to take over only help. We are hopefully going to run the classes a little more interactively as they seem to be able to write all the basics, but understanding what they are writing and implementing that into everyday life and classes is another thing.

Tuesday was also really positive, although the day at Swapo did consist of much, when the kids came after school we had a really good session. The drop in centre leader, Zeh, is really passionate about the kids and it was nice to see that. We played games and had to go round the circle encouraging one another with positive comments. We have lots of kids at the moment which is fantastic. I think it is due to the fact that we have gotten bread back to give to the kids.

We went to Bible study that night and that was really good. Challenging and really nice to just hang out with some people our age with similar backgrounds and worldviews. We were invited to a BRA on Saturday which translated into Australian is a BBQ so that will fun, a nice Steak for dinner!

Today (Wednesday) however was something else. We were working with Thabo, who took us to the new community, Ezekekeni, he wants a centre to be built in. We took our questionnaires for the community profile we want to compile and stopped at one point to ask 3 ladies to fill them in. Somehow a crowd gathered and soon there were 10-15 people filling in questionnaires and asking Thabo what we were doing and why. They were all really positive and want the centre to be built and working this year not next. As all this was happening a social worker from another area came up to us and told us that she thought we should see this house where some terrible things had been happening and needed some attention.

After finishing filling in questionnaires the social worker showed us the ‘house’, a run down mud hut with 2 small rooms (smaller in total than my lounge room at home), where 3 children were living with their Aunt. They were orphans; their mother and father have both passed away. We met the children, a girl aged 9, a disabled boy of 5, and a beautiful little girl aged 3. We were told that all of these children have been repeatedly raped by a 15year old guy in the community. The aunt doesn’t care and has done nothing about it. The children have also never been to school, are probably hungry and malnourished and left to their own devises most of the time. After a lengthy discussion with some of the neighbours and people from the community (the aunt was absent) we left and went to child welfare. They told us that we would have to get the local social worker to open the case and that basically we could do nothing. This frustrated me so much. The systems that are created to take care of the children instead hinder them from getting help! Thabo wasn’t satisfied with this and we went to another social welfare place who said they could help. We returned to the community and took the children and took them back to the social welfare place where they will now be looked after until someone either agrees to foster them or something else can take place.

My heart broke for these children. They were so beautiful and so innocent, unsmiling no matter how many smiles we tried to share with them. Holding back tears many times as I thought what they had repeatedly gone through. I don’t know how to put it to words what I felt and am still feeling, but it sits deep and heavy in my stomach and makes me feel sick.

Something Thabo said on the way home from dropping the children off at child welfare though has given me hope. He said that he wouldn’t still be in this job if he didn’t see some success stories. Which is true, what we do does make a difference and there is hope for brighter futures. However that does not lessen the trauma these children and millions of other children go through every day. Because stories like this one are common but somehow they hit you a little harder when you’re holding their tiny hands.

Today has put a couple of things into perspective for me. What does shopping for clothing, what you are going to wear, what are you going to do this weekend your so bored etc even matter? Why do we worry about such trivial issues instead of looking and asking and seeing the real ones that actually affect our brothers and sisters to their core? What does half of our shit (excuse the language but seriously) even matter compared to that child’s hand I held today?  

Why are we so worried about our precious material stuff being stolen and not the souls and hearts being torn of people in communities not 10minutes from our own?How do we consume our lives and time with such mundane worthless stuff instead of what really matters?

Sorry if that’s harsh, I’m not trying to make you feel bad but this has been my reality check. These are the questions I have been asking and struggling with. I considered not writing these questions because I didn’t want to be cruel and push my reality onto others. However if I can’t share because I think it may make others uncomfortable then I’m not sure that’s being truthful. So if I’ve burst your bubble I apologise but maybe that is something you should think on. Maybe they aren’t the questions you will struggle with but understand that the story above is reality and as much as ‘ignorance is bliss’ ignorance changes nothing.

 So I am shaken but ok. Seeing what I saw sometimes makes me want to yell at God, blame him for the horrible things we do to one another. But as my heart was breaking for these kids I know God’s has broken many more times. How do we do these things to one another? I’m really not sure. However for these children there is hope for a brighter future. Hopefully now they will be loved and given much needed attention for all of there needs. And I’m going to end this blog with that hope.

 Hope you are all well. Xox

African A B C’s – bit of a social commentary

‘For we Xhosas, and all black South Africans, are a conquered people. We are slaves in our own country. We are tenants on our own soil. We have no strength, no power, no control over our own destiny in the land of our birth… Among these young men are chiefs who will never rule because we have no power to govern ourselves… scholars who will never teach because we have no place for them to study. The abilities, the intelligence, the promise of these young men will be squandered in their attempt to eke out a living doing the simplest most mindless chores for the white man.’ This is a quote from Nelson Mandela’s autobiography (which I am slowly reading); something he was told coming into his young manhood, something that although much has changed, is still true in a different way.

I read this quote a day or so ago and it seemed very significant in my mind. This is South Africa’s history, it is a horrible history (yet I don’t claim my own country’s to be any better) yet the fact is that is what happened. And yet even though South Africa is now a democracy, is ruled by a Black President (Jacob Zuma*) where barriers between blacks, whites and coloured’s have been striped away many of the problems still exist.

Although there are no longer slaves (from what I know), land has been returned, in many ways the strength, power and destiny of the young people has gone. The education system leaves children unable to read or write, statistics came out yesterday for year 12 maths. 20, 000 kids did not pass out of 45, 000 (if I heard correctly this morning)!!!! An uneducated generation leads where? Without being able to speak English, to read and write English, without passing school young adults cannot get jobs. Without jobs where does your hope lie? Why not go and live on the street, sniffing glue, drinking alcohol smoking drugs? Where is life going to take you? Why not rob someone passing by, it might be a kick, give you an adrenaline rush, supply money to buy food, drinks etc. ‘The promise of these young men will be squandered’ through lack of adequate education amongst several thousand other problems. 

Excuse my little rant there but seriously can you see the issues being faced here! Not just by me, a little white foreigner who thinks she knows everything, but by the generation that is growing up; by children living in poverty that cannot afford to go to a better school than the one in their peri urban communities.

I don’t have a solution for the problem, other than better education what is there? That said, despair should not be the option either. If we despair and give up hope saying that nothing will change, exactly that will happen; nothing. Somehow hope needs to be fed to a multitude of people to inspire change.

The principal at the high school the other day was asking Sarah and me to try and give his students hope. Maybe even help them apply to universities in Australia and fund them (we came all the way from Australia therefore we are rich; an assumption that is ridiculously common). Sarah and I  muzzled our way out of it, trying politely to tell them we are not rich and could not fund them (especially when this principal has just finished telling us that the kids are leaving school not being able to read or write in English???) however we could try and inspire hope. We were talking with another white South African later that evening and relaying the story when we were helped to see that as much as we can help give hope, the people need to give themselves hope, not rely on others to initiate that. We are only here a short couple of months, in reality if they start relying upon us to give them hope what happens when we leave?

The question now on my mind, is how do you attempt to give hope that is sustainable, help that becomes self sufficient.

So there are some of the issues and questions I am dealing with at the moment. Ones that I’m not sure have answers but quite possibly have responses.

*Jacob Zuma is an interesting topic. He has been accused of corruption (which nearly 80% of his voters believe he committed although he was not found guilt {smart move by the judge who would probably have been murdered from what I hear if he ruled him corrupt}) he has been accused of rape. He has admittedly had sex with a woman with HIV but ‘he showered so he is ok’ *Note intense sarcasm*. Yet 99% of Black South African’s love him! If you say something against him it is not wise. He is also uneducated, no formal education and has 3 wives (polygamy is accepted here). To his credit he is a great speaker and relates exceptionally well to his people and can be found at many events great and small. Have heard many different discussion / debates on this issue and it certainly is an interesting one.

Time is like the Ocean, you can only hold a little in your hand*

Well let me first outlay a series of events / my past week and then I will relay a couple of my thoughts on them.

Firstly last weekend. It was amazing! I went away with Sarah, Lucy and Iia (Lucy’s fiancé). We went down to the beach about an hour south of Durban, we rented a 3 bedroom self contained unit which was more like an apartment. It was a really nice place with a beach gate so about 20m from the beach. It was lovely going to sleep listening to the waves. We had a fantastic time, we swam (although the water was really cold the first day) in the ocean, walked / ran on the beach, relaxed in the sun, read books, went to the movies (finally saw Harry Potter and really loved it… could help that I forget half of the book though) had ice creams and fish and chips, went out for lunch, I bought sunglasses (broke my last ones), we sang songs with the guitar and just relaxed the entire time. It was so lovely! Really felt like I was somewhere on holidays in Australia (except at half the cost… the apartment was only $50 a night!).

I have started attending a bible study at a church I have been going too. It’s been really fantastic to get to know some other Christian’s my own age coming from a similar background. We went bowling last week which was lots of fun. I came second on our lane scoring 97 which I was proud of. We (Sarah and I) had some really interesting discussions with one of the guys about missions here in South Africa. He comes from Cape Town which is dealing with many of the same struggles as Australia in terms of mission in a post modern society. However here they are facing other issues as well. Ant was saying they are almost doing cross cultural evangelism in their own country as amongst the Zulu culture. The Zulu culture and thinking is very much still a modern worldview and perspective. It was a fascinating discussion in terms of Christianity and worldviews.

Not sure if I have mentioned in my previous blogs that Sarah and I may be starting an English class at the local school. I met the principal this week, very interesting man, and hopefully we will sort it out on Monday morning when and how it will happen. We are both really excited about it as there is a huge need in this area and we have the skills and ability to help. I should just put a disclaimer here that I have found myself guilty of getting caught up in other people’s opinions. Especially last week in regards to the education system. As I discussed this topic with other’s I realised that I had taken on bias from the information I was given. Yes there are problems here in regards to education that begin at a government level and will not end until they are worked on at that level. However, that doesn’t give excuse to give up hope and creativity to around these problems to initiate change. There are government school (generally ones that cost more money to provide extra teachers) that produce good results using the current education system. So let that be my retraction from my rant on this subject last week.

Work this week was interesting. We started our questionnaire in the new community we hope to begin working in. We are attempting to compile a community profile of the area to explain the reasons we want to work there. The need there is great and there aren’t really any other organisations working there. People in the community have to get water at dawn otherwise it runs out. The water tap can sometimes be several kms from your house. Most of the community is unemployed and many children’s schooling grants are being spent on alcohol. The school that is on rented property (which the owner is requesting R1, 000,000 compared with 230, 000 he asked 2 years ago) has 1000 pupils attending with 12 class rooms. Some of which are mud huts. It seems to be a rather good school considering the circumstances.

I also worked at Kindawo this week which was a lot of fun but a lot of work. I help the kids with their homework, as in 4-5kids with their homework. It can be really tiring and requires much patience as although the children speak English, reading and writing in English seem fairly difficult. What I am noticing here with the education is that children are not being taught phonetically. They aren’t taught to sound out words, or what letters together make different sounds. It is frustrating and a challenge but I love helping out there.

Yesterday (Friday) Sarah and I dropped Lucy off at the airport to fly home. She got off safely and in time (after some drama with her ticket) which was good. It was lovely having her here and getting to know her. There are now only 3 people living at the YDC, Sarah, Jo and I. It makes it quieter but means we have to cook more often. Sarah and I went out for dinner and both had ribs for under $11. It was lovely!

Ok now some of my thoughts on my week. As much as I enjoyed my weekend away, at times I questioned myself whether I was running away from the problems here. Trying to forget and drown them out, forget the poverty I see daily. I’m not sure that was what I was doing, or if that is fair. Relaxing is important and I think I really needed a weekend away from it all so that I could be refreshed. Ready to face a new week with a fresh face. Is going to the mall, movies and indulging myself the best way of doing that knowing what I know and seeing what I see, probably not. But that is something I am struggling with and believe I will probably be struggling with for some time.

Sarah and I were also hinted at this week whether we might want to help fund the container in which work will be conducted in for the new community that we are helping compile a profile on. Here comes in again the Zulu thinking that we are rich because we can afford to come here, in relation to them, in many ways we are rich however to fund a container that is around R32,000 is not easy. I have been struggling with whether I want to help in this way or not, I think I would rather contribute differently. There is so much need here so where to put your resources into is a really difficult question.

On a side note, something I have been thinking about the past week and that someone challenged me on. It’s semi in reaction to some comments I have received and my reaction from those. Please understand that I am human and as a human being I am essentially selfish. Just because I am in another country spending money to help others does not mean that I am a saint. Yes the fact that I am in another country serving others is a good thing, however it can also be a selfish thing. It can be just another part of this consumerist society that we live. Accept this time instead of purchasing an item I’m buying an experience. Imagine and think about it this way, ‘I went to South Africa and volunteered for 5 months.’ To which someone would respond, ‘wow, that’s awesome that must have been really full on. What did you do?’ ‘Well I was working in a drop in centre in a poor community, working with children mainly. Helping with school work, making sure kids are at school, doing house visits, lots of things. It was really full on but such an awesome experience!’ What’s to say that isn’t selfish, as harsh as that sounds. What’s to say that I haven’t just wanted to travel to Africa to live in another country, to ‘find myself’ in Africa, but do it under the banner of volunteering.

What’s to say that I wanted to get my serving God stint off my chest so I can live my life and not feel guilty? This could be reality but I don’t want it to be my reality. So I have been studying my motives for coming here. However I keep getting side tracked from them.

So I appreciate encouragement, but please don’t blow my head up too big. I don’t want to loose track of the reason I came here, I don’t want to be full of myself and selfish. So I am not asking that you no longer encourage me. Encouragement is important and helped me get through some of the harder things I have been facing here. But please do not tell me how amazing what I am doing is, I fall short so often. Currently this is my reality, living in South Africa. It’s really different from Australia, but no more important. As much as I write about my week, so different from home, maybe seen as so exciting compared with your job/ studies/ generally daily lives. This is my general daily life. So if you are reading this, I assume you take an interest in my life, please know that I am super interested in yours as well and would love to hear about your daily life. So please let me know how you are going because I crave news from home.

Much love. Xox

*Title is from a Josh Pyke song

Crying Lightening

The substantiation of components outside of our control is often succinct with the fundamental limitation of our own humanity. However during the week this seemed to be more apparent and less disturbing than in the past. 

 I will attempt to enlighten you to my meaning, however be warned that it may not be enlightening at all.

 The more time I spend at Swapo, in South Africa in general the more I realise how screwed up this world is, well South Africa anyway. As I hear stories of rape, abuse, murders, crime and all sort of other atrocities regularly (mum I am safe and will continue to be so, so please don’t worry) in the community I’m working in, people I’m meeting, in the newspapers; the limitations of what I can achieve against so much evil is strongly felt.

 The school system being used here in the government schools, as Sarah found out on Tuesday talking to a school principal in our community, is one that was used in Australia in the 70’s and we no longer use because it proved to not educate it’s learners properly. This is the system the children are being educated with, whilst the private schools use a completely different system (where the politician’s children attend and anyone who can afford it will as well), you have to start asking the question what is this going to do to the next generation. The Principal told Sarah that they are just as bad as Stalin or Hitler because they are raising a generation where you can finish school without being able to read or write or speak English (which all interviews for jobs are conducted in), basically he was saying they are killing a generation through non education.

 What he says is true on many accounts, I know from first hand that the kids coming into the drop in centre all of whom are in high school with several year 11 and 12 students can write in English with terrible grammar, letters backwards and all very basic; equivalent of our grade 5 or 6 English. However they do not want to speak English.

 Zeh (the drop in centre co-ordinator who has returned finally after time off due to an injured foot) made a rule that the kids had to answer in English. ‘Yibo! No really?’ Was their response which was nice in theory and worked for a little while but was quickly ignored or answers were written in English and then passed to read.

This is just the schools system problems, which I do not know the answer too but I am glad to say I have a response to. Sarah when talking to the principal at the school was asked if she could run an English class to help the students with basic grammar and spelling. So we are trying to work out how this is going to work (mum laugh if you want, me teaching grammar and spelling I know!), Sarah is hopefully meeting with the principal again today to work out logistics. We are both rather excited about it as well as nervous, but glad that we have a gift (English as our first language) we can impart that can be of use.

So although feeling hopeless and getting overwhelmed with the problems here I sometimes feel I am being of use which is a positive.

Yesterday Sarah and I had a little more hope as we went to a new community with Thabo (the community centre’s co-ordinator) to assess the reasons why we want to move into this community. As much as the situation there was one of despair with no electricity, having to get water at dawn to make sure you don’t run out, alcoholism a major problem; it was nice to be able to work on creating a report of the community so that we can assess the reason there is need there. So dad you can tell Oldy that Health and Human Development came in great use, as I went through all the different things I learnt to help bring a thorough list of information we need to compile for the report. It was strange to be actually working and attempting to assess these things, things that in year 12 when I studied it; I would never have seen myself doing. It felt very real, the poverty and problems. It was lovely to feel useful writing up a questionnaire (which we will be going around the community with for the next couple of weeks) and suggesting ideas; it really felt like I was working in an Aid organisation (which I am).

On a lighter note last week Sarah and I brought paints to the centre thinking we could make banners for the container to bring some colour. However we were picked up early annoyingly, so we left the paints there for the interns to run the program with the kids. When we returned the following day we realised we should have explained a little more clearly what our intentions were as the entire container itself had been painted. It was rather amusing however looked nothing like what we would have hoped. The kids had written their names, this person 4 ever, a couple of rushed drawings, not exactly what I had in mind. I want to cover up some things with hand prints next week and attempt to fix and make the container look a little better, being the perfectionist I am. Luckily Zeh, whose reaction we were a little worried about, quite liked what we had done in her absence, thank goodness.

The whole thing was rather amusing.

Yesterday was Lumka’s birthday, she turned 1. Lumka is the youngest at Kindawo and I went for the birthday party. She was all dressed up in a beautiful new dress, hair done nicely with her pudgy little cheeks and giving the big lip as she usually does. It was very cute, especially when she ate cake and proceeded to get it all over her face and when she got bored with the cake started eating the paper plate. It was very cute and quiet priceless. Moments like that are really beautiful. I will get some photos off Sandy to show you all.

 This coming weekend is a long weekend and we have Monday off! Hooray! So Sarah, Lucy, Iia Lucy’s fiancé) and I are going to the beach renting a car and a self contained 2 bedroom place 20m from the beach all for under $150 for the entire weekend each (things here are so cheap, but that mindset doesn’t help as I have found out!). I am so so looking forward to a nice quiet relaxing weekend on the beach. The ocean is the Indian ocean which is incredibly warm so swimming will be amazing!!!

 At home, as in the YDC where I am staying, things are really good. Sarah and I are really close, she was such a blessing from God. It’s really weird to think that 3 weeks ago I didn’t know her, most people here assume we have known each other for years and it feels that way which is awesome. It’s so nice to be able to share all your experiences with someone who understands exactly where you are coming from.

We share so many likes, although she doesn’t do music at all, which is really nice. She is a bit older (24) but that doesn’t seem to be an issue which is lovely!

 I often come home at night with nothing to do, food has become the thing to do when bored which is not so good for my waist line (well I don’t think so) however I have croqueted 2 beret’s and currently I’m making one for one of the interns birthday. I am also baking a lot as I have so much time. So any recipes would be welcome and very gratefully eaten by my housemates (send to my email address maritahanscamp@hotmail.com).  I might need a new hobby soon so suggestions on that would also be welcomed.

 So that’s about it for me at the moment… forever in turmoil but one that makes a person stronger. Happy moments, sad moments, moments of despair and hopelessness and moments of hope and encouragement. I seem to swing from one extreme to the next or be going round in circles but hopefully they are moving in a forward direction.

 Missing you all. xox

Sawbona

Title means hello in Zulu, which I am slowly learning some of. I have the greeting and response, thankyou and a couple of other words down pat. I have also been picking up on certain words in English that either the white South Africans or Zulu’s use often like Sorry, Sure and Pleasure in various accents.

 

Well this week has been a little bit of an overload for my head not for my work.

 

Work is going ok, it is nice working in the community drop in centre however I feel that we sit around too much and are not proactive about what we are doing. I feel this is mainly due to the fact that the centre supervisor has damaged her foot and hasn’t been at the centre for the last 2 weeks leaving the interns who are lovely but don’t have much direction to run the centre. So Sarah and I have been having many many discussions as to what we should be doing struggling between feeling useful and enjoying what we are doing and working where we know a lot of work needs to be done. At the moment it looks as though we will be working in the Drop in centre for 2 days a week as we really feel the need in this community as I’ll touch on in a second and then my other days will be spread 1 to Kindawo and the other too possibly street work or Gateway Christian School. Not sure on that one yet. I have to decide where I am going to give my days this week which is frustrating because I am still getting used to what happens when at Swapo but if I leave it longer I will be here 2 months and have no schedule still.

 

As I write this Jo is watching Blood Diamond which is bringing back all the emotions someone can associate with such a movie so my apology if this is everywhere. This movie is worse when you are in the country that some of it is set in and can see the things being shown in its history.

 

We lost one of our house mates this last week. Sjoerd left to go home to Holland after a 6month stint here. It was sad to lost him as he became like a big brother to Sarah and I. So that was a sad day on Tuesday when we brought him to the airport in Durban. So in the house now is Sarah, Lucy (visitor from Holland who just got engaged! Very exciting) and Jo (now the only male in the house poor thing).

 

 

Today Sarah and I went with Thabo (the community centre supervisor) doing some social work with people from the community. I was struggling to decide whether to share all with you or not but I think I will share the story of hope and skim over the details because they are quite graphic.

The first woman we dropped off was not from this province but moved to KwazuluNatal when her boyfriend and children’s father found out she was HIV positive. It is a shaming thing to have here and many men leave women when they find out that they have it, never mind that they have it themselves! I get so angry about this problem but more on that in a second. She has the most beautiful 2 young children. Her eldest girl started playing with Sarah and me after about 2minutes. It’s beautiful to see the innocence of a child, colour of skin is not even seen, it is refreshing. Being HIV positive means the mother cannot breastfeed her baby (as she will then pass on the disease) and as there is no father she is struggling to feed the children. She lost her grant for the children when she moved province but the outcome of today is that she will now receive it again. R500 per month which is equivalent of $78 Australian, not much but for this mother it makes a world of difference.

The second case we dealt with had to do with sexual abuse with a young girl. The effect of this, which was ongoing for many years, has left her psychological and physically effected. We tried to get her help however where we tried could not help her. We are going to try somewhere else on Monday but chances are that she will fall a causality to a system full of names with stories just as horrific as hers with not enough social workers, psychologist etc to help.

 

The troubles here in South Africa are like that. HIV and Aids is a massive problem as most people will not get themselves checked because to have Aids is to be shamed. Also men here have many wives and many people are not married and do not intend to do so as the Lebola (the price of the bride to be paid to the parents is too high). This is the Black South African’s* I am talking about. Lebola is a cultural thing that has lost its meaning in a developing South Africa. So especially amongst the poor HIV is rife. Official statistics are not correct as that is only the people who have been tested. Also the government only reports many deaths under TB not aids which is finished by TB. This is so that they do not have to face the grand scale of the problem.

That is just the beginning of the HIV and Aids problem.

Social work is another problem. Most social workers train here and leave the country because the money is not good enough.

The problems here in South Africa are so grand I don’t know where to start. I sometimes feel how is this ever going to end… there are so many problems and what difference can we make. Changes need to happen in the culture, in the government on such a massive scale that I can’t see anything getting any better for years to come. This is such a screwed up country, what difference can even I make here for 5 months. But Sally gave me courage the other day, saying that for the black communities the fact that white people want to come and spend time with them to help them makes a difference more than we can understand.

 

So that’s what I meant earlier about being a full on week for my head and emotionally as well. But I am where I am supposed to be and I am journeying through it with amazing people who have been God sends.

 

So that’s about my week. I hope yours was a little less tumultuous than mine.

 

Oh Photos are taking forever and a half to upload however I have discovered a new downsizing program on the computer so hopefully I’ll have my entire first weekend away photos up by the end of the week. I am yet to sort out Lesotho but hopefully by the end of next week you will have those as well. Let’s hope the internet is kind and runs really fast this week.

 

Xox

 

 

*To say Black or white here is not offensive as that is just the way in which everyone here labels it. To say native however would be offensive. Just so you know that I mean no offence when I label black or white.